Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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