Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
