Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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