would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
