i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
