People in love make me want to vomit
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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