Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
