ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
