i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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