Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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