If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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