tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
