For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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