Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
