Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize