so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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