So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
