Non-Jews are for practice
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
