Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
