youre lurking in front of me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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