If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
