Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
