I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize