his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
