Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize