This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize