I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
