you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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