It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
