After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
