You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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