Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
