You smell like a Billy Joel song
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I would fuck him just for his dog
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