hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
