lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
