god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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