Can Purell be used as lube?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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