It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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