yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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