I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
