at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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