i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize