You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
