how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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