Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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