She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
