All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
