Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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