you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize