end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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