don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's like God shit irony all over that family
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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