Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
