hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
