i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I stole a fireplace last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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