All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
