Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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