used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
