I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
