gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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