No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
